pregnant elephants

Heard this while on the bus just now from Somebody.

Yes..... more elephant jokes. Turn up the heater and here we go.....



Q: How do you put a pregnant elephant into a taxi?


A: Open the taxi door, put the pregnant elephant in and close the door.


Q: What is more difficult than putting a pregnant elephant into a taxi?


A: Making an elephant pregnant in a taxi.

*Comments: Well it's supposed to be because to make the elephant pregnant in a taxi you need (at least) two elephants in the taxi ==> more difficult. Get it??

Yah and you're supposed to laugh a bit here also because it's supposed to be damn funny.


And you think that's all?? Haha.... not so easy.




Q: How do you put four elephants into a taxi?


A: Open the front door and put one elephant in. Then open the rear door and put the other three elephants into the back.


Q: How do you put two elephants into a fridge?


A: Put one elephant into the top compartment and the other into the bottom compartment.

*Comment: You're supposed to say open the top compartment door and put one elephant in blah blah blah. A bit too tired at this stage already.


Q: And how do you put eight elephants into a fridge?


A: Put two taxis into the fridge as each taxi is supposed to contain four elephants at this point.

Get it?? Laugh at this point also.



And I came up with this myself as I lost whatever sanity and common sense up to this point in time :

Q: How do you put five elephants into a taxi?


A: You cannot as each taxi is only supposed to pick up four passengers and putting five in will be against the law.

*Comment: Note that i said elephants so don't try to jiao bian with baby elephants whatsoever. And yes.... i'm going nuts as well.

I think this last one is real funny. Ha Ha Ha.



So you still think elephant jokes are funny?? (This's for those who answered yes for the other entry.)

chao di chao

所谓的高潮就是因为有低潮，人生若通通是高潮， 那一点意义都没有。


我还真不见意有多一点高潮。


我的高潮几时才会来？

真是心灰意冷！

highly entropic elephants

From my thermodynamics textbook:

"Efficient people lead low-entropy (highly organised) lives.... Inefficient people, on the other hand, are disorganised and lead high-entropy lives.... People leading high-entropy lifestyles are always on the run, and never seem to catch up.

You probably noticed (with frustration) that some people seem to learn fast and remember well what they learn. We can call this type of learning organised or low-entropy learning.... On the other hand, people who throw the information into their minds as they study, with no effort to secure it, may think they are learning. They are bound to discover otherwise when they need to retrieve the information, for example, during a test."


Yup. That's from my textbook.

Yup. I do read a bit of my textbook contrary to popular belief. Not really important and really really doubt this will come out for my exams (coming to a theatre near you). But so interesting to find something so relevant inside.

Yup. I'm HIGHLY ENTROPIC.



From a friend (who loves his elephant jokes):

How do you kill a blue elephant??


With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a red elephant??


Strangle the red elephant till it becomes blue and then kill it with the blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a green elephant??


Make the green elephant so angry it becomes red, then strangle it till it becomes blue, and then kill it with the blue elephant gun.


Funny?? Someone thinks it is. You be the judge.

effort vs ability

Starting to find myself more and more problematic by the day. Don't know why. Feels so 'problemed'. Trying to catch up with school-work. Piles and piles of them. Tried to read a bit and do the tutorials but also found out that effort and ability are two separate issues. Want to do. But cannot do. As the famous saying goes: "心有余儿力不足". Demoralising. Very. Ominous signs for this semester already. Weird thing is feeling no pressure or stress whatsoever at this advanced stage. Know that there's a lot of things to do and a lot of materials to revise (for some to read for the first time). Feel like there's a lot of things to do and a lot of materials to revise (for some to read for the first time). BUT. A big big but.

Think something is very wrong with myself. Trying. Trying. Trying.

Serious earthquake in Pakinstan and India. Yes... another. Ominous signs.

Wound on leg a bit inflamed now. Ominous signs.

Choked on vegetable during meal. Ominous signs.

Fell asleep within seconds of lying down on bed. In the afternoon. Ominous.


On a brighter note.... Sun Yanzi's new album is out!!


Can a person really trust another person, whether its a friend or not?? Or is it just me??

are you happy??

How can you make someone happy when you are not happy yourself??

a prayer for bali

It has been a while since i sat down to write something. Pretty dry nowadays. Up there i mean. Nothing stays in my brain. Becoming more and more moody. FEELING more and more busy.

Realisation that the exams are only slightly over a month away and judging from how behind i am in schoolwork, it's not a good thing. Pretty troubled. Wants to do more. Wants to do better. But something seems to be holding me back. At least have just attempted my last two tutorials. Attempted as got a lot of questions cannot do. That's my problem. Very hard to solve questions with no hints given. Just don't know how to start or how to go about it. That may be why always cock up at exams. No confidence in myself maybe.

Bali was bombed again. A minute of silence please. 3 years since the last bombing i think. What do they actually see in that place?? Not easy to go back to normal again. Deaths are so disturbing.

Let's all keep praying for the victims and their family.

Watching the news earlier and saw an interesting report amidst the sadness and chaos. A singaporean family of three (dad, mum and young son) on holiday there. A while before the bomb detonated at the raja restaurant, the family was looking at the menu of that fateful restaurant deciding what to eat for dinner. But the young boy wanted to have KFC instead and the parents fortunately agreed and they proceeded to the KFC outlet further down the road. A while later a deadly blast shook THAT restaurant. Quoted: "Bombs exploded in three packed tourist restaurants on the Indonesian island of Bali killing at least 26 people and injuring scores more, just days before the third anniversary of the nightclub attacks there (in 2002) that left 202 people dead.".

Suddenly liverpool vs chelsea or portsmouth vs newcastle (and some will say blackburn vs west brom) doesn't seem that important anymore. So what if newcastle lost. So what if chelsea wins their next 30 games. Will be pissed if i'm the one playing maybe. But it suddenly pales in comparison.

Have always felt unloved.

Come on join me in this song. "What's wrong with the world mama?? People living like they ain't got no mama..... Where is the love??"

Don't know that?? How about this. "Heal the world, make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race......"

Iraq war.

Nuclear weapons in North Korea.

Hurricanes in America.

Fuel prices escalating like nobody's business.

China and Taiwan.

Terrorists.

No shelter from my house to the MRT.